It was a sad goodbye. It wasn't even bitter sweet. It was just plain sad.
The behind the scenes of starting a non-profit.
Monday, February 25, 2019
Dream Team Back Together One Final Time 2/25/19
Boy was that hard. Alisha and I had a great time catching up but being in Tampa was so surreal. It was so wonderful to see Nick but there is a weight and a sadness about him that wasn't there 4 years ago. Becoming the mayor has taken a toll on him. Being pulled by so many people and having his hands tied to actually do anything to help them. His countenance is sad. Us girls look lame in this picture but even Nick's smile is faked. The joy is gone.
Sitting in the restaurant and trying to tell him we were closing down Open Hand was so hard. I started crying, Alisha teared up and she's been the strong one through this whole process. I think sitting face to face with Nick brought it all home. Nick doesn't show emotion so it was hard to really gage what he was feeling/thinking. He said that he can't really be mad at us because we have done so much for him and the people in Pignon. We told him that we still want to be friends with him and know how his life is going. I mentioned how he has been faithful in every aspect of Open Hand and that he IS Open Hand. Without him, nothing would be done. Before our meeting we had decided to pay Nick's salary for the next year as well as we are going to turn over all the money that is in Pignon for him to continue. We figured out if he charges just a little interest then he can potentially make two to three times what we were paying him! What a great testimony!
It was a sad goodbye. It wasn't even bitter sweet. It was just plain sad.
It was a sad goodbye. It wasn't even bitter sweet. It was just plain sad.
High Hopes 2/20/19
Had to have high, high hopes for a living
Shooting for the stars when I couldn't make a killing
Didn't have a dime but I always had a vision
Always had high, high hopes
Had to have high, high hopes for a living
Didn't know how but I always had a feeling
I was gonna be that one in a million
Always had high, high hopes
Shooting for the stars when I couldn't make a killing
Didn't have a dime but I always had a vision
Always had high, high hopes
Had to have high, high hopes for a living
Didn't know how but I always had a feeling
I was gonna be that one in a million
Always had high, high hopes
Can't help but read back through this entire blog and see from where we started until now. High Hopes. I had very high hopes that we were going to make it big time. Man, I'm exhausted just reading and remembering all we did in the beginning. 3 years in Pignon, Haiti. 733 loans given out in that time frame affecting over 3,000 dependents. That's good. Now comes tomorrow. Alisha and I haven't seen each other in over 2 years and we haven't seen Nick since 2015. And we fly into Tampa to see him and we will sit down with him and tell him Open Hand is done. We are finished. How are we going to tell him? He's been with us from the beginning. He is a good man. He loves his people and I'm amazed that he could chose to live in the United States and yet wants to be in Haiti. Life isn't easy in Haiti. Between the riots, the lack of food and water.. it's a hard life. That he is willingly choosing. How does it not look like we are abandoning him? I don't know. Why isn't the passion there anymore? Is it because we've been so far removed literally and figuratively? The method works. Without us. On Friday we will present our ideas to Nick as to how we can close out Open Hand. We have money still to give and want to give it to him to continue the loans or maybe even start a business of his own.
Do you know what he told Ty about a month ago? He told Ty that he doesn't have any kids yet but that, "Lisa will know because she will be the godmother." I died a little when Ty told me that.
Do you know what he told Ty about a month ago? He told Ty that he doesn't have any kids yet but that, "Lisa will know because she will be the godmother." I died a little when Ty told me that.
Whoop, There it Is 2/17/19
Monday, February 4, 2019
An About Face
Last week I was doing all the research needed for us to fly to Pignon. Where would we stay? How would be get their safely? Combine that with the fact that my husband has clearly stated that if I go he will take life insurance out on me. Big vote of confidence huh?!
I wake up this week with... no desire to go to Haiti. What? I mean I was all gung ho last week even talking on the phone (gasp!) to someone I didnt know but who has been to Pignon multiple times. And now I find myself not interested in going. How sad is that? I did want to see all the ladies who have paid back our loans and I did want to see the town of Pignon and I did want to see Nick one last time but now I'm just not feeling it. Alisha never wanted to go but I did. Now I don't want to either BUT.... we may have a fantastic compromising solution that will enable us to not enter a war torn, level 3 travel advisory nation as two white women and not under an organization that has armed guards at their command. Ready? Nick is actually coming to the United States, Florida to be exact, for a couple weeks at the end of this month. We could see if he has room in his schedule for us to come and see him. Talk about a win win. No scary travel. No added life insurance policy premium. Sounds genius. I will keep you posted on if this works.
I wake up this week with... no desire to go to Haiti. What? I mean I was all gung ho last week even talking on the phone (gasp!) to someone I didnt know but who has been to Pignon multiple times. And now I find myself not interested in going. How sad is that? I did want to see all the ladies who have paid back our loans and I did want to see the town of Pignon and I did want to see Nick one last time but now I'm just not feeling it. Alisha never wanted to go but I did. Now I don't want to either BUT.... we may have a fantastic compromising solution that will enable us to not enter a war torn, level 3 travel advisory nation as two white women and not under an organization that has armed guards at their command. Ready? Nick is actually coming to the United States, Florida to be exact, for a couple weeks at the end of this month. We could see if he has room in his schedule for us to come and see him. Talk about a win win. No scary travel. No added life insurance policy premium. Sounds genius. I will keep you posted on if this works.
Thursday, January 31, 2019
Insert Laugh out Loud (LOL)
| |||
Dear Ms. Rogers:
Thank you for contacting the American Citizen Services Unit.
Please be informed that Haiti has never been a level 1 or 2. Previous travel advisories can be found at
www.osac.gov if you would like to view the previous ones yourself.
We hope this information is helpful to you.
Kind regards,
American Citizen Services/raj
Consular Section | U.S. Embassy Port-au-Prince | Boulevard 15 Octobre, Tabarre 41| Tabarre, Haïti.
Embassy homepage:
https://ht.usembassy.gov/
State Department Homepage:
https://travel.state.gov/Friday, January 25, 2019
Now What?
Now what? What do we do from here? How do we dissolve this organization? Can we give Nick the rest of the money in the OH account towards loans and turn the whole thing over to him? Is that legal? I dunno. I'm sad today. I want to get to Pignon and see what we've accomplished. I talked with a lady today who goes there often and she told me there is a huge water crisis there. Not enough wells and if there is a well it is more than likely broken. And then I start thinking how because we haven't been back in so many years this whole thing doesn't feel real anymore. We aren't "in the trenches" so to speak. I think about all the issues Haiti has and our wonderful Director, Nicolas who is dedicating his life to make things better for his people and how do we just up and leave that? I guess I'm wondering if, no WHEN we get to go will be see the need and everything stir back up? How can I just go on with my every day life now knowing that water is a huge issue. A massive issue. And get this, they have to pay for the water they do get. Man, life isn't fair and it really sucks in Haiti. My heart still wants to help make a difference.
The money our loan recipients make goes towards taking care of the basic needs of their children and household. I was disgusted that Haitian education is not free and now I'm finding out water costs money too? What the heck!
I talked to a lady today who goes to Pignon often. I wanted to get her advise and feel about us going. She uses the organization that flies you from Florida directly to Pignon but there is a yearly fee to become an affiliate etc.. and seeing that we didnt go down often and now more than likely are going down for the final time there was no need for me to apply. She said the flight from Cap Haitien to Pignon is 12 minutes in a tiny plane. (Tee-hee. Alisha doesn't like tiny planes. Despises tiny planes. She has gone soft in her old age. Never mind that she's younger than me! So that news didn't go over well. LOL). Combine that with landing on a grass air strip... sounds like fun to me!
One more last hurrah with my best friend. The woman who has known me since college, who was in BOTH my weddings, the one who has seen the very best and worst of me, the one who risked a lot to start this organization, the one who has laughed and cried with me, the one with a heart to be a world changer, difference maker, generous giver and kick the human trafficking epidemic in the ass by providing small business loans for women so they don't get trapped with the idea of getting a job for themselves or their children when in fact is the gateway to being trafficked, that's the girl I'm going back with. One more time. God willing.
The money our loan recipients make goes towards taking care of the basic needs of their children and household. I was disgusted that Haitian education is not free and now I'm finding out water costs money too? What the heck!
I talked to a lady today who goes to Pignon often. I wanted to get her advise and feel about us going. She uses the organization that flies you from Florida directly to Pignon but there is a yearly fee to become an affiliate etc.. and seeing that we didnt go down often and now more than likely are going down for the final time there was no need for me to apply. She said the flight from Cap Haitien to Pignon is 12 minutes in a tiny plane. (Tee-hee. Alisha doesn't like tiny planes. Despises tiny planes. She has gone soft in her old age. Never mind that she's younger than me! So that news didn't go over well. LOL). Combine that with landing on a grass air strip... sounds like fun to me!
One more last hurrah with my best friend. The woman who has known me since college, who was in BOTH my weddings, the one who has seen the very best and worst of me, the one who risked a lot to start this organization, the one who has laughed and cried with me, the one with a heart to be a world changer, difference maker, generous giver and kick the human trafficking epidemic in the ass by providing small business loans for women so they don't get trapped with the idea of getting a job for themselves or their children when in fact is the gateway to being trafficked, that's the girl I'm going back with. One more time. God willing.
Wednesday, January 23, 2019
Death
There's been a death and I don't know where we go from here. Alisha and I just spoke on the phone and she is quitting Open Hand. I want to be able to process what all that means to myself and to what we've built. It's a catch 22 because the way we structured our business is that it runs without us. We aren't needed. Nick does it all. We aren't raising any more money so the money that is available for loans is on constant rotation. We haven't been to Haiti if 4 years and when we did leave it wasn't with our heads held high. Pignon is an entirely different region of Haiti and has been 100% successful. I want to see Pignon before we call an end to this incredible journey.
Honestly? It's easy to forget about Open Hand because we aren't needed. We aren't traveling over there and again, Nick is running the whole thing. It's not a time consuming, life consuming passion anymore. So why, do I find myself crying in the aisles of Safeway as Alisha tells me this isn't for her anymore. That she's in a new season with her life and believes that God has something for her locally now. Crying because I feel like we are breaking up? Crying because why? Because it takes guts to admit the passion isn't there anymore? Crying because this is the end of what was a huge part of our life. All the adversity we faced, all the lack of support but from a small handful. Two stay at home Moms wanting to make a difference and fight against human trafficking and give women in 3rd world countries small business loans so they could take care of themselves and their children and never get caught in the lies of trafficking. We have made a great impact but it's hard to see from here.
Then I think about the task of shutting everything down legally. The money that's still in our OH account. What happens to that? The Give with Liberty donations we get monthly. How do I handle shutting that down? It's not overwhelming to do it all because I'm not doing anything else. It's just a whole new shift.
It is just crazy to think back on what all we've gone through to get to this point. I feel like our business model also is like parenting where you are trying to make them self sufficient, productive members of society who can stand on their own two feet and now that's what is happening here. It also bares noting that we never wanted to be in Haiti in the first place but that's where we began and will end.
Honestly? It's easy to forget about Open Hand because we aren't needed. We aren't traveling over there and again, Nick is running the whole thing. It's not a time consuming, life consuming passion anymore. So why, do I find myself crying in the aisles of Safeway as Alisha tells me this isn't for her anymore. That she's in a new season with her life and believes that God has something for her locally now. Crying because I feel like we are breaking up? Crying because why? Because it takes guts to admit the passion isn't there anymore? Crying because this is the end of what was a huge part of our life. All the adversity we faced, all the lack of support but from a small handful. Two stay at home Moms wanting to make a difference and fight against human trafficking and give women in 3rd world countries small business loans so they could take care of themselves and their children and never get caught in the lies of trafficking. We have made a great impact but it's hard to see from here.
Then I think about the task of shutting everything down legally. The money that's still in our OH account. What happens to that? The Give with Liberty donations we get monthly. How do I handle shutting that down? It's not overwhelming to do it all because I'm not doing anything else. It's just a whole new shift.
It is just crazy to think back on what all we've gone through to get to this point. I feel like our business model also is like parenting where you are trying to make them self sufficient, productive members of society who can stand on their own two feet and now that's what is happening here. It also bares noting that we never wanted to be in Haiti in the first place but that's where we began and will end.
Thursday, January 17, 2019
Caught a Bug
Yep. I've caught the bug. The "I need to get to Haiti and want to see how everyone is doing and how it's all going and I'm ready to jump back into this thing" bug. Only problem? A Level 3 travel advisory which my husband says I can't go until it goes down. Which makes one wonder, what was it when Alisha and I went with Love a Child? Who knows?! Does Haiti ever go down to a Level 2 or less? The travel department only lets me go back till July 2018 and I've got an email into the embassy to ask but I'm wondering if it's ever been lower. Alisha's husband will still let her go. I really want to go too but obviously not without my husband's blessing. *sigh*
So I wait. And pray. We can fly into Cap Haitien which is about 4 hours away from PAP where all the drama is taking place but Ty still isn't comfortable. I'm so rusty on all of this. I've reached out to Missionary Flights to see if we can become an affiliate but I'm so rusty in explaining what we do etc... I really want to get my feet on the ground in Pignon and get a fresh vision for how we can help the people in Haiti.
So I wait. And pray. We can fly into Cap Haitien which is about 4 hours away from PAP where all the drama is taking place but Ty still isn't comfortable. I'm so rusty on all of this. I've reached out to Missionary Flights to see if we can become an affiliate but I'm so rusty in explaining what we do etc... I really want to get my feet on the ground in Pignon and get a fresh vision for how we can help the people in Haiti.
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