Death

There's been a death and I don't know where we go from here. Alisha and I just spoke on the phone and she is quitting Open Hand. I want to be able to process what all that means to myself and to what we've built. It's a catch 22 because the way we structured our business is that it runs without us. We aren't needed. Nick does it all. We aren't raising any more money so the money that is available for loans is on constant rotation. We haven't been to Haiti if 4 years and when we did leave it wasn't with our heads held high. Pignon is an entirely different region of Haiti and has been 100% successful. I want to see Pignon before we call an end to this incredible journey.

Honestly? It's easy to forget about Open Hand because we aren't needed. We aren't traveling over there and again, Nick is running the whole thing. It's not a time consuming, life consuming passion anymore. So why, do I find myself crying in the aisles of Safeway as Alisha tells me this isn't for her anymore. That she's in a new season with her life and believes that God has something for her locally now. Crying because I feel like we are breaking up? Crying because why? Because it takes guts to admit the passion isn't there anymore? Crying because this is the end of what was a huge part of our life. All the adversity we faced, all the lack of support but from a small handful. Two stay at home Moms wanting to make a difference and fight against human trafficking and give women in 3rd world countries small business loans so they could take care of themselves and their children and never get caught in the lies of trafficking. We have made a great impact but it's hard to see from here.

Then I think about the task of shutting everything down legally. The money that's still in our OH account. What happens to that? The Give with Liberty donations we get monthly. How do I handle shutting that down? It's not overwhelming to do it all because I'm not doing anything else. It's just a whole new shift.

It is just crazy to think back on what all we've gone through to get to this point. I feel like our business model also is like parenting where you are trying to make them self sufficient, productive members of society who can stand on their own two feet and now that's what is happening here. It also bares noting that we never wanted to be in Haiti in the first place but that's where we began and will end.