Dream Team Back Together One Final Time 2/25/19

Boy was that hard. Alisha and I had a great time catching up but being in Tampa was so surreal. It was so wonderful to see Nick but there is a weight and a sadness about him that wasn't there 4 years ago. Becoming the mayor has taken a toll on him. Being pulled by so many people and having his hands tied to actually do anything to help them. His countenance is sad. Us girls look lame in this picture but even Nick's smile is faked. The joy is gone.

Sitting in the restaurant and trying to tell him we were closing down Open Hand was so hard. I started crying, Alisha teared up and she's been the strong one through this whole process. I think sitting face to face with Nick brought it all home. Nick doesn't show emotion so it was hard to really gage what he was feeling/thinking. He said that he can't really be mad at us because we have done so much for him and the people in Pignon. We told him that we still want to be friends with him and know how his life is going. I mentioned how he has been faithful in every aspect of Open Hand and that he IS Open Hand. Without him, nothing would be done. Before our meeting we had decided to pay Nick's salary for the next year as well as we are going to turn over all the money that is in Pignon for him to continue. We figured out if he charges just a little interest then he can potentially make two to three times what we were paying him! What a great testimony!

It was a sad goodbye. It wasn't even bitter sweet. It was just plain sad.

High Hopes 2/20/19

Had to have high, high hopes for a living
Shooting for the stars when I couldn't make a killing
Didn't have a dime but I always had a vision
Always had high, high hopes
Had to have high, high hopes for a living
Didn't know how but I always had a feeling
I was gonna be that one in a million
Always had high, high hopes

Can't help but read back through this entire blog and see from where we started until now. High Hopes. I had very high hopes that we were going to make it big time. Man, I'm exhausted just reading and remembering all we did in the beginning. 3 years in Pignon, Haiti. 733 loans given out in that time frame affecting over 3,000 dependents. That's good. Now comes tomorrow. Alisha and I haven't seen each other in over 2 years and we haven't seen Nick since 2015. And we fly into Tampa to see him and we will sit down with him and tell him Open Hand is done. We are finished. How are we going to tell him? He's been with us from the beginning. He is a good man. He loves his people and I'm amazed that he could chose to live in the United States and yet wants to be in Haiti. Life isn't easy in Haiti. Between the riots, the lack of food and water.. it's a hard life. That he is willingly choosing. How does it not look like we are abandoning him?  I don't know. Why isn't the passion there anymore? Is it because we've been so far removed literally and figuratively? The method works. Without us. On Friday we will present our ideas to Nick as to how we can close out Open Hand. We have money still to give and want to give it to him to continue the loans or maybe even start a business of his own.

Do you know what he told Ty about a month ago? He told Ty that he doesn't have any kids yet but that, "Lisa will know because she will be the godmother." I died a little when Ty told me that. 

Whoop, There it Is 2/17/19

Insert my husband saying???? Come on, you know what he said to me. Four words. Four words that can grate on anyone's nerves. Four words that I seem to be hearing a lot of of. Rarely do I get to use those words against him. 😃 Also, worthy to note the money we sent Nick for the 5 motorcycle loans he hasn't been able to access because the banks are not operating on normal business hours. And he has to go to the town 3 hours away to get to his bank. He also told us he paid extra money to fly from Cap Haitien to Port-au-Prince because he himself was worried about all the violence.

An About Face

Last week I was doing all the research needed for us to fly to Pignon. Where would we stay? How would be get their safely? Combine that with the fact that my husband has clearly stated that if I go he will take life insurance out on me. Big vote of confidence huh?!

I wake up this week with... no desire to go to Haiti. What? I mean I was all gung ho last week even talking on the phone (gasp!) to someone I didnt know but who has been to Pignon multiple times. And now I find myself not interested in going. How sad is that? I did want to see all the ladies who have paid back our loans and I did want to see the town of Pignon and I did want to see Nick one last time but now I'm just not feeling it. Alisha never wanted to go but I did. Now I don't want to either BUT.... we may have a fantastic compromising solution that will enable us to not enter a war torn, level 3 travel advisory nation as two white women and not under an organization that has armed guards at their command. Ready? Nick is actually coming to the United States, Florida to be exact, for a couple weeks at the end of this month. We could see if he has room in his schedule for us to come and see him. Talk about a win win. No scary travel. No added life insurance policy premium. Sounds genius. I will keep you posted on if this works.