Never Have I ever....

Want to play that game? I'll go first. Never have I ever.... sent a wire to a Haitian bank account for $30,000 in order for us to GIVE OUT OUR LOANS. AHHHHHHHH


Can you believe it? 30 grand. Poof. All that blood, sweat, sleepless nights, and tears just got sent down to our Haitian bank account.

Ok. Your turn. Beat that!

The "hits" keep coming

but in a good way. Today at bible study we had a guest speaker. She is apparently somewhat well known and has a reality TV show on Lifetime but I have never watched it. Anyways.... I'm getting the CD b.c throughout her study she kept calling me out and saying, "You are a fighter. You are passionate. I want you to be on my team. We need more fighters like you." She said, "You are tired" and I dont remember what else but at the end she said I was, "scrappy" Again, this lady has no idea who I am, what I'm doing and I've never seen her before.

It would be dumb of me to not think that over these last two studies that God was not trying to tell me that He sees me and that he knows I'm tired but to keep going. I have been a boo hoo out loud sobbing mess at the past two bible studies.

"He Knows My Name"

Spent today in a conversation
In the mirror face to face with
somebody less than perfect
I wouldn't choose me first if
I was looking for a champion
In fact I'd understand if
You picked everyone before me
But that's just not my story
True to who You are
You saw my heart
and made
Something out of nothing

[Chorus:]
I don't need my name in lights
I'm famous in my Father's eyes
Make no mistake
He knows my name
I'm not living for applause
I'm already so adored
It's all His stage
He knows my name oh, oh,
He knows my name oh, oh

I'm not meant to just stay quiet
I'm meant to be a lion
I'll roar beyond a song
With every moment that I've got
True to who You are
You saw my heart
and made
Something out of nothing

[Chorus]

He calls me chosen, free forgiven, wanted, child of the King,
His forever, held in treasure...
I am loved

I don't need my name in lights...
I'm famous in my Father's eyes...

As I was driving today I had to just take a minute and say thank you to God for seeing me. He sees me. Wow. 

The Balls of these Haitians...

continue to astound me. Today was the first day of training. Because everything has taken so long Franck has to cram 20 hours of training into this week alone b.c we have to graduate the class when we come this Saturday. So... Franck is training from 8 to noon and this is the first day and he sends us a message that the people are COMPLAINING that we didnt provide water and that if we don't - the probably won't come to class anymore. WTF? You do realize if you don't do your 20 hours of training then you don't get a loan right? Right? These people are really pissing me off. What brats. They better pay back their loans or I may have to start taking blood pressure medicine.

Oh this is Rich...

We sent Nicolas down to personally meet with each one of the people we had approved for a loan and they either said they would wait and meet with Villy and Franck on Wednesday or once they heard the loan amount they said 'never mind'. Is that not the most appalling thing you've ever heard? What brats.

So... we sent an email to Villy since he is an Haitian business man and he was able to tell us that in PAP someone who is a servant or guard makes about $89 a month which if we were to be generous - say $1200 a year. That's in PAP not in a rural area like F.P. Then Nick tells us that a 55 pound bag of rice costs $20 and renting the marketplace booth for an entire month is going to cost $20.

All that to write - THIS PEOPLE ARE GREEDY LITTLE SHITS. (Ok. That felt pretty good) Ha! And I so badly want to tell them to go and find someone who will loan them $500 or more dollars and not charge interest. I'd love to see them find that. So instead of starting with something you'd rather have nothing. WTH is wrong with that picture. I guess that means you'll keeping feeding your kids mud.

Offering a hand up and instead having it slapped away. The mind is boggled.

Memoralize This

It only seems fitting that I write down whatever I can remember of this 'conversation' that took place yesterday at bible study between God and a lady I've never met and knows nothing about me. I wish I had my phone recording b.c unless the Holy Spirit reminds me what was said then I wont remember. Ha!

So here's what I remember - "You give and give and give and give and God says thank you. Thank you for giving. He wants to give you back your joy. You have a lot of wounds that Jesus wants to heal. You are lovely. You are kind. You are valuable. You are honored. You are the apple of His eye. You are a leader. You are worthy. You are strong. You are blessed. You are compassionate. You are full of grace. You are a world changer. You are brave. You are resourceful. You are beautiful. You are creative. You are loved. You are confident. You are secure. You are a voice. You are fun. You are virtuous. You are worth more than rubies. You are not afraid. You laugh. You are generous. You are dynamic. You are a dreamer. You get it done. You are a defender.
She took my hand and looked at my wedding ring and said she sees the color purple and that stands for royalty. She said your husband loves you a lot doesn't he? I said yes.

So here's the deal

This is how we are going to roll. And since we've never rolled before and we are the ones that started this cra cra train that means we get to decide how we want to roll, how many times we want to roll... you get the idea. Therefore, with that being said we as an organization have decided that it is unwise to hand out $400 - 500 business loans to those who don't even make that in one year. Furthermore, we won't be able to hand out nearly as much if we were to do that. So we put our proverbial foot down and said we will only be giving out loan for $150. If those we have selected don't want our money based on that then they can move on with their bad, poor selves and we will find another one of the hundreds of people who applied and offer it to them.

This is all such a cluster you know what. Can you tell? Man if this whole thing ever gets pulled off we'll be dancing in the streets!

So there you have it - as of this point we are sponsoring 175 people with $150 loans. Nicholas our Director, is going to Fond Parisien on Friday to meet with each one individually to have them sign our contract and get their pictures and then Franck is to begin training on Monday.

I'll keep you posted as I'm sure something will change. Ha!

So if the bullet has gone out of the gun can you get it back?

Oh this is SO.MUCH.FUN.

Hmmm.... so we are about 6 weeks out from the marketplace opening and we sent our list of loan recipients to Villy the market director and our Haitian employees a couple days ago and we get an email back from Villy stating that the loans need to be closer to $400 to $500 range. WTH?

The lyrics from Ed Sheeran's "Don't" are coming to my mind... actually the first line of the chorus. If you really want to know you can look it up but this is all becoming so ridiculous. Who in their right mind tells someone the loans are going to be quadruple what you had thought 6 weeks beforehand. Come.on.

So Alisha has sent an email to the head guy at LAC that she originally talked to when this whole Haiti thing started and we are waiting to hear what they want - either less money given out but more people helped or more money given out and less people helped. Either way she has made it clear that OH will not be giving out loan for over $350 dollars. We don't feel comfortable giving out that kind of money. And now we wait.